Ten Ways Parents Can Help Their Child Adjust to College Life

The nest may seem a bit emptier with your son/daughter off to college however a parent’s nurturing days are far from over, especially if your child is away from home for the first time. Consider these suggestions as you contemplate the best ways to assist your student in their adjustment to college life, particularly homesickness.

1. Write (or e-mail) often, even if your student doesn’t write back. A week of empty mailboxes is a depressing thing. Send letters with news of home, friends and family. But don’t expect a reply. Chances are your student is busy trying to write papers and juggle a busy schedule between studying and activities with friends.
2. Send care packages. Lots of them. Include energy food, favorite magazines, rolls of quarters for laundry, laundry soap, personal care items and home-baked goodies.
3. Don’t ask if your student is homesick. Chances are your child misses you even though he might not say anything. Most students are busy with new activities, new friends and new classes and can often avoid that feeling of loneliness unless you ask. A well-meaning question can trigger homesickness when your student has worked hard to avoid it. 
   
4. If you get an urgent phone call begging you to rescue him/her recognize that rescuing is likely not necessary. Your willingness to listen and offering your "shoulder to cry on" probably are. Support and empathy go a long way in helping one whose emotional bucket is overflowing.
5. Pray for your son or daughter. Offer specific petitions for your child’s needs. Claim our Heavenly Father’s promises that He will provide for all of our needs and that He will provide a solution for each and every trial we face.
6. Encourage your son/daughter to bring familiar items from home to put in their room. Photos, plants, posters, even stuffed animals help to give one a sense of community and ease the shock of a new environment.
7. Encourage your son/daughter to familiarize themselves with their new surroundings. Walk around. You feel more in control if you know where buildings, classes and services are located.
8. Encourage them to meet and get to know new people. Participate in the many and varied activities offered on campus, especially those that comfortable and fun.
9. Encourage your student to talk to someone if feelings of loneliness, worry or sadness persist. A friend, roommate, RA, or campus counselors are good places to start.
10. Have your son/daughter plan a date to come home and make arrangements. This often helps curtail impulsive returns and keeps them focused on their goals in staying. 
     
    Remember, the adjustments to college life are numerous and significant. Increased homework and expectations from professors, increased personal freedoms, becoming more independent, learning to relate to others with different values and priorities and resolving conflicts are but a few of the possible challenges facing the average student. The challenge facing parents involves letting go and trusting that, even though your child will make mistakes, he/she will mature under the Lord’s loving guidance and care. Your developmental task is to make the transition from caretaking parent to empowering parent.